im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
