if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
