we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
