I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize