Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i would punch a child for taco bell
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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