Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
