so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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