More tranny stories later!
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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