i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My vagina is officially offended.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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