I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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