your parents love me but you hate me
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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