We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
