yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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