OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
