Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
