I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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