You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
