Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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