hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
