Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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