Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
