Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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