How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
