Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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