Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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