i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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