She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
