i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
