I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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