is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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