Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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