I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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