there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize