to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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