I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
be right there i have to get my cape
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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