And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
