Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Randomize
