I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
