Got a toothbrush?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
