The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
