my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
