I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
