Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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