i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
