Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
