everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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