He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
