I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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