You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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