I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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