Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
