hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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