Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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