What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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