Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
