I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
