it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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