I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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