I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
