I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I think my moral compass just broke
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
