If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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