420 ftw
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
