I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
