so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
