Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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