oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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