Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
