how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize