she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
